RELAXING

I hope to one day accomplish all my goals in life so that I may eventually relax and enjoy some of the things that I have always dreamed of doing. I want to travel everywhere. I could see myself selling my home packing up in a motor home and hitting the road. There are so many places I want to go and see. I one day want to go overseas and visit other countries and just get a taste of all the amazing places there are to go. I have always wanted to go to Italy. It looks like such an amazing place to go. So many different areas that you can see. I would like to visit as many islands as I can . I absolutely love the beach and could set relaxing on one everyday. There are also a lot of places in the United States I would like to visit. All the different places of some importance to our country. Things that mean something. I want to enjoy the outdoors. No more of these Missouri winters. I want to be able to pack up and go away for the winter and go to where it is warm. I know I will have to work hard and be very careful to plan and save to be able to do these things. But I know with persistence I can make it happen. Of course I know there will be those ups and downs along the way, but just have to keep hanging in and not give up. I feel that everyone should fight for their dreams and goals in life. I don't want to live my life for the materialist things of this world. Memories is what I am making, memories that can never be taken from me. I want to take my children places that they want to go and spend as much time as I can with them before they are grown and start to live their own dreams. I hope that they learn from my hard work and determination and are able to say in their lives that their mom always fought for what she wanted and made her dreams come true. I want to be an inspiration to them.

What if...

I quit my job
quit school
could go back in time
I didn't have kids
I didn't have a family
I was alone
I could not speak
I could not see
I gave up
I had no support
I couldn't drive
I couldn't walk
I was dying
I was terminally ill
I didn't have the chance to go back to school
I had no time for myself
I had more siblings

What if I didn't have a family? I would be lost without my family. I have a very large family who for the most part is very close and supportive of each and every one. Although I only ha one sibling growing up, I was a twin so we have always been very close to one another. We have always lived fairly close to one another. We seem to have this inner connection and have a way of always knowing when something is wrong or when the other needs something. I do have a lot of aunt and uncles who as well live close. As a large family we do try and get together as much as possible and we do enjoy our times together. Its kind of crazy even when we have children who are playing in sports. People in the community probably think were crazy because we have our own cheering section. It is nothing to look out in the crowd and see moms, dads, grandparents, aunt and uncles, cousins cheering on whoever is playing. I love it and I think it means a lot the the family member playing. I know it did to me when I was in school. To know you have that support. We all rely on each other a lot with help with our kids. With me going back to school full time and working full time and my husband on the road 5 days a week, I know I couldn't do it without the help of my oldest daughter, my sister, my mom and even my grandmother. They all help out when I need a kid dropped off at school or a practice or taken to church. Got the love the grandma when she can cover a sick kid that is unable to go to school. Even the family pulls together when we move. Even this weekend we are helping move my parents and I would say with everyone that is coming it might take one load in every ones trucks and we will have it done. Guys and most of the younger females will be loading and the older women cleaning as we are clearing out. Its great to know you can count on your family. I mean don't get me wrong we do have our problems and we do have the occasional fight in the family but for the most part we forgive and move on.

What if kids really did know it all? This is a good topic considering I have five children who definitely think they know it all. I actually think it would be nice to know everything as a child. It would save a lot of injuries and heartache. I think it would be a completely different world in some ways. but then again I feel you also need to experience the world and fail at times so that you can learn from your mistakes and make yourself a stronger person. This is a tough topic because there are so many good and bad points. I have to look at it from a mothers point of view though. If kids knew it all their would be no reason for school. Or for that matter kids would not have to live at home. I mean if they know it all and know how to take care of themselves what would be the purpose. I mean as a parent I feel that we are there to teach and guide our children, to teach them the rights and wrongs. I would feel completely useless. They would not need me for guidance and to be there as a friend when things go bad. I have to say I would not like this. Kids need to learn and they need the chance to be kids. Experience life and live it to the fullest. The world would be a mess if kids knew it all. Its bad enough that there are so many that think that they do know it all.

Fear

My biggest fear is not succeeding at things. I always want to be my best and I struggle with praising myself for the good things I do. I have these problems with just about everything. That involves being a wife, a  mother, school, my appearance. I have really been working on this subject for a short time now. I try to focus on the little thing s that i do to be a good mother and not as a big picture. I am trying to stay more focused on my schooling and use better studying techniques and take the time to devote to my studies, which in return sometimes makes me feel like I am not giving my kids all the attention that they need. I have been struggling with my weight since having my twins and have finally committed to taking time for myself. I also use this as a way to deal with the stresses of life. It gives me a way to have my own time to relax and do something for myself, because it is very hard to have my time with five children, full time school, and full time job. I work at night that way I am gone when my kids are sleeping which doesn't help with the amount of sleep I get but its worth the sacrifice. It wont be long and all my kids will be in school full time during the day and that will help tremendously. I strive everyday to keep things on schedule and make time for everyone I need to do things for. I have to say that my husband unfortunately gets the short end of this. Although he is gone all but about two days a week he does not see me much. But he knows this is just for a short time and the payoff will be worth it. My fear is that it is hard to keep a relationship when you don't have time for each other, so far it is doing ok. Again just a fear of failure on my part I guess. It drives my husband crazy that i am so hard on myself about these issues and he just keeps reassuring me about everything.

Not succeeding is a big issue for me. I have so many things in life that I want and things that I want to do. I want to be a good example for my children so that my children will grow to be responsible, strong and courageous adults. I want them to see that anything is possible and I want them to see that through me. I want to succeed myself in a career that is full filling and not just going through the emotions of its a job. If I can succeed at my career then it will lead me to retirement someday, in which I want to travel the world. See new places. I want a home of my own that I can relax in a grow old. I want to watch my children grow up and see where their paths go and what they make for themselves. All of my successes will come from the path I am on but the fear of not accomplishing any of them would throw everything off. I am constantly thinking what can I do as a backup plan instead of just pushing harder for what I want. I know that I need to work on this and really have been trying. Its getting better and I think each day my confidence grows a little more in myself. It has been a long road. I have felt like a failure for a very long time since I was very little because of certain circumstances but I am finally learning to let the past go. Letting go of the hurt and telling myself I can do this, I can succeed at anything I put my mind to. I can change the course my life has been on for so many years. Quit worrying about what other think and quit comparing my life to others. My life is not theirs and I have to do whats right for me and my family. I have been learning to be happy with what I have and to accept the things I cannot change. I grow each and every day in this and I have to say that I rely on God a lot for this. He keeps me strong. I have had to do some major changing in my life and recover from a lot of hurt and anger along the way but have finally learned to let things go. Forgive people that need forgiving and to change the friends I have in order to keep things on the right track. Get rid of those around who continue to bring me down.

Making my life and making it my own. I think a lot of people struggle with this and I think this is why so many people are nosey and get into each others business. I had a problem of always comparing my life to some of those I went to school with. This in many ways kept making me feel like a failure at things in my life. They have things that I have always wanted. I finally had to stop comparing and realize the things that I have that they don't have. For example, I have five beautiful children compared to them only having a couple. I would never change any of that. I would always gladly give up the material things in life or postpone having them for the time,  emotions, memories that I have had with my children. Don't get me wrong of course there are some stressful times, moments and days but doesn't compare the the joy I have had with my children and the times we have shared and will share. Watching them grow everyday and see the amazing young people they are growing to be. Those material things that I used to let get me down don't mean a thing and are just very unimportant. I wish more people in life could realize this. The world has become so materialistic. I personally think that is why the economy is in such bad shape. People always buying more than they can afford. In debt up to their ears just so they can compare there lives to those of friends or local families. I think if more people were like this more people would be happy in life and there would be a lot more families staying together instead of families ending in divorce over finances and stress that is placed in relationships. The world has spun out of control. Everyday becoming more complex and putting temptations all around. I think sometimes we just need to say enough is enough. Why cant we just slow down and enjoy what we have instead of always stressing over what we want now, because once you get it, it wont be enough there will always be something else after that. More wants and more wants. Its insane. I try to teach my children to appreciate the things they have and enjoy them and take care of and respect it.

Typology INTJ

So, I ended up with INTJ, which was kind of a surprise to me. While I can relate to some of the things there are quite a few I don't see in myself. I for one have never been a calm person. I am very quick to lose my temper and not one for not speaking my mind for the most part.

I am someone who is always thinking of the possibilities, and thinking of ideas to accomplish those possibilities. I do enjoy a challenge when it comes to certain things.

I am definitely an organizer. I cant stand to have things out of place, which is very difficult considering I have five children. I do like my independence and do not like to be told what to do. As I look more into this section I see that it pretty much hits me head on. This is so me. I do tend to look over people to get a task done and I am very bad about not considering others opinions. I do like to stay in control of my feelings and emotions.

When it comes to the learning part I see myself as a mixture of this. I do like to connect things to a larger picture, I seem to grasp the concepts better. I do not resist change though. I have learned that coming back to school later in life. Things have definitely changed. I do seem to study better independently. I like to be alone and quiet.

As far as when it comes to writing, I don't agree with any of it. I feel I struggle with my writing in every way. I hesitate on topics, and I am definitely a procrastinator when it comes to writing projects. I think a lot of it has to do with my feelings that it wont be good enough and just plain confidence.

I am kind of a hit and miss when it comes to work. I again am very organized when it comes to my work. I like things done a certain way and I have a hard time not going behind someone else and correcting things to the way I like them. I do have long term goals set and have a plan of accomplishing those plans. I do stay focused on task, it is always a goal for me to get done the task that need to be done and then whatever else there is time for can be done. You never know when something will happen and a schedule can get thrown off so I always try to get done the necessities first.

With teamwork, I am way off on these. I kind of just like to go with the flow when apart of a team or group. I don't have a problem delegating task, but I do have a problem with people that don't do their assigned jobs or task.

When it comes to certain things I do like being a leader. If it is something that I am comfortable in or knowledgeable I like to step up and I like to help show people how things are done that I have been doing for longer period of time. I do probably need to work on my communication at times and recognize the accomplishments of others.

I have to agree with the communication part. In that I do prefer direct and honest communication. Just tell me the truth. I would rather someone be completely honest with me and hurt me that way than to find that I have been lied too.

Oh I hate the decision making. I always fear if I make the decision it will turn out wrong. Maybe it is that I put to much thinking into it. I do always fear that the decision I make will affect people I care about in the wrong way. Of course my decision making is a lot different being a mom than when I was on my own.

I have to say that setting time for play has changed extremely since becoming a mother, as for myself. I do not have any problem setting time to watch my kids in their extracurricular activities but as for my own hobbies and the things that I used to enjoy have been shoved way to a back burner. I will one day have my time again but for now it is what is important to take care of my family.

Stress is something I have really been dealing with lately. I do not like last minute changes to schedules and having to cover something or find a way to make myself available for more than one thing. I am hard on myself when I don't do as well as I would like, and cannot stand to work in a messy environment. I have recently been trying different ways of dealing with this stress and not letting things get to me as much. Finally realized the stress wasn't worth it.

I would have to say I probably match this about 75%. There are some things I didn't realize I was like or did until looking at this test. Makes me realize in some areas I need to do some changing and some areas that I am happy I am like.

Travel jamaica

I had the pleasure of going to Jamiaca on vacation in 2003. It was my first real vacation and I had never been so far away from home or my children. The trip started out with a drive to Nashville as I was living in Kentucky at the time. We stayed overnight at a motel to catch a very early morning flight out. We were to have a layover in North Carolina and catch our next flight onto Jamaica. We needless to say did not. The flight out of Nashville was delayed and when we landed in north Carolina they were paging us over the intercom that our plane was leaving. Not good! We had to run from one end of the airport to the other, but did make our flight. We were so late that instead of them putting us in our assigned seats we got to set across from the flight attendants, who thought since we were not having the greatest start to our vacation dedided to let us have all the shot and snacks that we wanted. Well from then on the rest of the vacation was amazing. We landed in Montego Bay Jamaica and the whole trip was great weather. We had amazing food and company. We decided we wanted to see the real side of jamaica so we hooked up with a local and saw the real side of jamaica, the way they live and the lifestyle of the locals. It was an amazing trip and I will for sure go back.

Skydiving

My adventure of skydiving kind of came about in a long story. I met my current husband after I went to work in the health care field. We met at work and became friends and then as the story goes we became friends and eventually started dating. We are both adventurist so it was to no surprise that for his birthday that year he wanted to go skydiving. We were joined by another couple that worked with us. We decided on Siloam Springs Arkansas to go for this adventure. We left early that morning to make the trip and arrived with no problems. Three of us were actually jumping and the other there just to watch. We started the process of getting our gear fit to us and the instructions of what we needed to do and how we needed to land. We were paired up with the instructors we were going to be jumping with, since it was our first time we were tandem jumping. My "husband" and I were going up in one plane and our friend in another. We loaded up which I never realized how tiny the planes were until you try to fit four jumpers and a pilot in. We were literally sitting on each other. The ride up to our altitude seemed like forever. It felt like hours had went by before we were finally to the point were they said it was time. I had been very nervous the entire time going up but at that point I was like lets do this. They opened the door and we took out positioning in the doorway, which is basically one foot in the plane and the other outside the plane. It was go time and it was time to launch ourselves out of the plane. We were off. I off course being the lady got to go first with my husband following behind. It was amazing. You could see for miles and miles. We were allowed to free fall for as long as we could which was very cool. After the shoots were pulled we of course had to do some circles and turns. It was the most exciting thing I have ever done and highly suggest for anyone. Just a funny note that the only one of us that got sick that day was the one who didnt jump.

i remember a as a child playing with lincoln logs i had a twin sister so I always had someone to play with and build things with. I know have my own children and actually my own set of twins that love to build things. they are always stacking anything they can get ahold of. they love playing with legos and i have for a long time thought of getting them lincoln logs to play with as well. I feel they would truly enjoy playing with them and that it would further their imagination, and boy do they have that. we pretend quite  often of being other people and they love to dress up and play house or be butterflies, or princesses. Which oh yes leads to lots of laundry for mom to do but it sure is worth it to see their smiling faces. There favorite holiday of course would be halloween because the get to dress up and they definately get the use out of costumes because I let them play in them at the house. We enjoy having the fun times at home. Of course you should see the look on my oldest daughters face when they start mixing and matching costumes. she is 16 years old so of course everything is suppose to match and color coordinate and matching shoes. But we have fun anyway. She gets over it. I have a house full of girls so the fun, fighting and neverending laundry never stops. I remember when my oldest was little she used to play with building blocks. She has always been very to herself and find things to keep her occupied. she loves working with crafts and making gifts for friends and family. My middle daughter who is 7 years old enjoys playing with things like building blocks when cousins are over and occasionally plays with the twins but not as intense about it as they are. The lincoln blocks do kind of remind me though of a game.